Posted in Positive Flow

Beyond the Ban: Why Uncomfortable Conversations, Not Book Bans, Are Your Kids’ Best Shield

In today’s rapidly evolving world, it’s natural for parents to feel a fierce need to protect their children. We want to shield them from anything that might cause them harm, confusion, or expose them to ideas we don’t agree with. This protective instinct often manifests in efforts to control what our children are exposed to, whether it’s monitoring media, carefully selecting friends, or, increasingly, advocating for the removal of certain books from school libraries.

However, while the impulse to ban books might stem from a good place, it’s a strategy that ultimately misses the mark and, in fact, can leave our children less prepared for the realities they will inevitably face.

Consider this: We pour energy into debating and removing books, yet often overlook the vast, unfiltered, and often unregulated world of social media that our children navigate daily. If our goal is to truly protect our kids and guide their understanding of the world, then the real work lies not in banning information, but in empowering them with the tools to critically engage with it.

The truth is, you cannot ban every challenging idea, every differing viewpoint, or every uncomfortable truth. The world outside your home is diverse, complex, and sometimes messy. And frankly, the more you try to block out these realities, the more intriguing and powerful they can become to a curious mind.

So, what’s the real shield? It’s you. It’s your voice, your values, and your willingness to have the uncomfortable conversations.

Instead of hoping your children never encounter certain topics, embrace the opportunity to be their primary source of information and guidance. This means:

  • Don’t shy away from difficult topics. Whether it’s sex education, diverse family structures, different belief systems, or social injustices, your children are going to hear about these things. Wouldn’t you rather them hear it from you, with your guidance and your perspective, than from an unregulated online source or a misinformed peer?
  • Clearly articulate your family’s values and beliefs. Let your children know what you believe in, what your family stands for, and what expectations you have within your home. This isn’t about imposing a rigid dogma, but about providing a strong foundation. “In our house, we believe in X, Y, and Z. This is how we treat others, and these are the standards we uphold.”
  • Acknowledge that other ways of living exist. You can say, “You might hear stories or see things that show people living in different ways than we do. That’s okay. People have different paths and beliefs. But in our house, this is our standard, and these are the values we live by.” This validates their observations while reinforcing your family’s unique identity.
  • Foster an environment of open communication. Make it clear that your children can come to you with any question, no matter how awkward or sensitive. Let them know that you are a safe space for their curiosity and concerns, and that you will always strive to answer them honestly and thoughtfully.
  • Equip them with critical thinking skills. Teach them how to evaluate information, consider different perspectives, and discern reliable sources. This is a far more powerful and lasting protection than any ban could ever offer.

Banning books might temporarily remove a specific narrative, but it does little to prepare your child for the vast ocean of information and differing viewpoints they will encounter as they grow. True protection comes from equipping them with the knowledge, values, and critical thinking skills to navigate that ocean, with you as their steady compass.

So, let’s put less energy into policing bookshelves and more into opening up courageous conversations. Your willingness to engage, to explain, and to guide will be the most powerful shield you can ever give your child.

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Author:

Kyri Demby, author, is a native Floridian, born and raised in Crestview, Fl. He is the middle child of seven children born to Linda Brown. Kyri began writing stories and songs at the age of thirteen. He received his Bachelor of Arts degree in Music Education as well as in Church Music from Bethune-Cookman University and also a Master of Education Degree in Educational Leadership from the University of South Florida. β€œEach one must reach one (or two or three)!” is Kyri’s belief about teaching and community service. He is a mentor to many students as well as other professionals. Kyri has written many stories and published several other books. . He has visited many schools, churches, and community centers teaching his playful parables and speaking to children. Kyri is the founder of Let Music Live Inc., "his pride and joy"; a community program incorporates music with drama. He believes that he is changing the world, one child at a time!

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